BURNOUT SOS: HELP IF YOU’RE BURNING OUT RIGHT NOW

If you are Burning Out right now and you need help, but you don’t know what it is that you need - this post is for you.

It’s also worth noting that this post also exists as a handy 20 minute podcast episode, that you can listen to right here. Sometimes, when Burnout strikes, the idea of sitting and reading a book or a long blog post is damn near impossible, so let yourself listen instead! And take breaks to breathe whenever you need.

This is the post that’s here to help you, if Burnout strikes. If, despite everything, it’s happened. You’ve found yourself in the boiling pot and you can’t think straight enough to get yourself out.

And you know what? Burnout is sneaky. You might not have realised it was happening until it HAPPENED. Have you heard the story of the frog in the pan of water? Apparently - please don’t test this theory - if you put a frog in a pan of hot water, it will jump straight out. But it you put a frog in a pan of cold water and then slowly heat it up, it will keep regulating its body temperature as the water gets warmed and warmer, until the point that the pan starts to boil and by this point the frog can’t get out and so it boils alive.

Gross. I know. 

Well, that’s a pretty accurate analogy for Burnout. Maybe you’re in it, and maybe people around you - maybe friends, family, partners - can see what’s happening and they try and convince you to get out of the pot, but you’ve been regulating your body temperature saying you just have to get through this next week, or finish this next project, and THEN you’ll get out of the pot but guess what? It started to boil and now you’re stuck and BOOM. Burnout.

And I’m going to say this a lot, but I’m going to keep saying it, because it needs to be said. Everyone’s experience is unique. I try to be as general as possible so this helps as many people as possible but by default that means that I am telling only ONE version of this story. You can be Burned Out without getting stuck in the very centre of that boiling pot. That water is going to burn you whether you’re stuck in the middle of the pot or swimming toward the edge. It’s going to burn you if you’re wearing water wings, or if you’re clinging to a teeny tiny lifeboat. Just because you’re not in the worst possible situation it doesn’t mean your situation isn’t bad, or worth addressing. 

So I am sharing today my advice to you if you’re there right now, and you need help to get out of the pot.

Here’s what’s happened. You’ve hit the wall. You didn’t even see it coming. This might look like waking up one morning and trying to drag yourself into work and just not being able to do it. It might look like a physical collapse. It might be an overflow of emotions - just, crying uncontrollably and not able to stop it. It might look like anxiety attacks or a fast descent into a deep depression. Your brain is fogged up, you can’t think properly, you’ve gone beyond the point of exhaustion. You are DONE.

The first thing I am going to do right now is give you permission to stop and get out of the pot, because I know that you don’t believe it’s an option for you. IT IS. Stop. Breathe. Call in sick. BREATHE. Go to the doctor. BREATHE. Reach out to someone you trust. BREATHE. Honestly? Send me a DM or an email. It’s not weird, it’s not an inconvenience to me. I get at least one completely out of the blue message a week from someone who has just found me on Google or Instagram in that desperate moment and reached out for help, and usually we hop on a quick call that very day if I can fit it in. Sometimes they wind up signing up for coaching later down the line but not always - sometimes they just need that conversation in that moment with someone who’s been there and knows. And the thing I hear most of all a few days after those calls is that the thing that made the difference to them was someone telling them they aren’t crazy, they’re allowed to feel the way that they are feeling, and they are allowed to step out of their bad situation and take time to rest.

Because you ARE allowed to do that. Come at me with your excuses all you want! It might not look the same for you as it does for someone else but that’s okay. You’re allowed to get out of the pot. Give yourself that permission.

Taking time to rest in this moment, might look like a couple of months off work or it might look like taking to your bed for the weekend and then bringing in structure boundaries allowing for small pockets of rest time from the following week onwards . There’s going to be a balance of what’s REALISTIC and what’s NEEDED. We’re all in different situations. But you have to ask yourself what will happen if you keep pushing. Are you going to get to a point where you are forced to take that rest? Maybe this is that point. Listen to your body and give it what it needs.

These are the immediate things that, in my own experience, made a big difference in the first couple of days after I hit that Burnout wall.

• Getting OUT of the environment or situation that’s crushing you. If it’s work, getting OUT of that environment. Go home. Call in sick. You are not well, it’s okay. If it’s not work, I know this can be a bit more tricky but physically removing yourself from the environment that is causing you chronic stress - if you can - is going to make a big difference in the moment.

• Let yourself wallow and get some rest. This might look like going to bed and letting yourself SLEEP if that’s what your body needs. It might look like crashing on the couch and letting Netflix wash over you. A lot of the time when we’re here on the verge of this Supernova Moment that is coming back to life after Burnout, we immediately start putting pressure on ourselves to feel better. It’s okay to let yourself feel like shit for a while. It’s okay to let yourself wallow. I spent days watching TV that I literally cannot remember now and I’ve had to rewatch the stuff I watched in those couple of days immediately post Burnout, but it was fine. I just needed to lie there, and do nothing. And let myself do nothing.

• Wrap yourself up in cotton wool. Not literally - well, maybe literally! You’re going to be feeling horrible. Miserable. Hopeless. Stale and stagnant and exhausted. It’s so easy to disappear into a downward spiral of self-pity and self-loathing. It’s like, you have to become two versions of yourself. The you who is broken, and the you who is letting yourself be broken and telling yourself it’s okay.

• And then, as often as you can, take some time to breathe. When we’re Burned Out, our nervous system is frazzled. We’re existing in a cloud of fog, everything feels heavy and fuzzy and impossible. The easiest way to start to clear that fog is breathing, in my experience. Starting just by taking a minute or two to close your eyes and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. I like a slow breath in, and an audible sigh out. Or square breathing, or one of the most effective exercises I’ve found for me, which is 478 breathing.

Here you can find an episode of simple breathing exercises to try for yourself:

• Next - get your support network in place. Even if all you want is to be alone right now - reach out to important people and let them know what’s going on with you. It might be your partner, your best friend, family members - maybe a trusted colleague, a manager perhaps. Set whatever boundaries you need, and when it comes to friends and family, if you don’t want them actually physically with you, but tell them what’s going on. They will check in, and they will be there when you need them. Don’t worry about offending anyone. Pick the right people for you, right now. 

• Then, this is a big one, Call the doctor. I’m in the UK and so I can only speak from experience here both the NHS and private healthcare, but I know this isn’t always simple and it isn’t always fruitful. It totally depends on what kind of doctor you have. You might get a dismissive one, you might get a super helpful one. It can be frustrating I know - but call them and make an appointment. 

I was really freaking lucky when I Burned Out, because I had access to a private doctor through work. I go back and forth with this a lot - because I’m so grateful that I had access to that, but I also recognise that work is what got me to the point of Burnout. I consider myself lucky because I had that, and I am grateful for it, but I don’t let it erase everything else either.

I was able to go to an appointment that lasted for a whole hour - and just download absolutely everything that was going on. I mean honestly, thank god for doctor patient confidentiality because I got it ALL out in that appointment. I got some medication, which helped me to get a handle on the extreme anxiety and depression I was experiencing, and I got a referral to a therapist. And by the end of that appointment, I also had a bullet point list of everything that I was experiencing, everything that had caused it, and everything that was exacerbating it. And here’s the part that is going to be useful to you: 

THAT LIST.

That list was a game changer. Writing everything down, getting it out of my head and into a notes doc on my phone, it meant that it wasn’t just spinning around my head anymore. Explaining it all to someone, and writing it all down, is what made me see in black and white that I was in serious trouble.

And that list is what I took with me to my GP a couple of days later. I handed it over, she read it, and immediately we were on the same page. It didn’t matter that by the time I made it to that actual GP appointment, I felt a bit better because I’d been able to rest and get away from stressors and triggers - that list was a clear record of my rock bottom moment and she was able to help me because she could see exactly what I’d been dealing with.

So, whatever your situation is, I’m encouraging you to make that appointment with a doctor. And I’m also encouraging you to take some time writing out your own list. You don’t need an hour long appointment with a private physician to do this. You can do it on your own, or you can do it with someone else. If you know you have a tendency to downplay your experiences or make excuses for those around you, do it with someone that you trust, because they will usually be able to call you on your bullshit and help you to be honest with yourself.

Write out that list, take it to a doctor, and ask for help. SO OFTEN when I talk to people in Burnout Crisis Mode, they don’t think that a doctor can help them. Honestly, sometimes they’re right. They might have had a bad experience in the past, or  - sometimes what they need is actually a more holistic approach, or they need a particular kind of therapy that suits them. Sometimes they just need to take that list to a really good Burnout coach to help them through it. (HELLO!) 

But I really do believe that going to the doctor as the first port of call is an important, and potentially game changing step. We have physical symptoms sometimes with Burnout that we dismiss, there can be other things going on - we can be deficient in certain vitamins, or have some other kind of underlying issue that could be exacerbating - or being exacerbated BY - Burnout.

What you might get from that appointment, is a directive to take some time off work. I know it depends on what kind of job you do, as to whether this is viable, but that might be the thing that takes the weight of Burnout off your shoulders for a little while so you can catch your breath. It might look like a referral to mental health services and support - which can involve long waiting lists I know, but getting on that list is never not going to be helpful. It might look like medication - which I know everyone feels differently about. I am a big fan of medication so long as it’s not used in isolation - medication and meditation in equal measure! But of course this is totally up to you. In the depths of Burnout, if Anxiety, Depression, hormonal imbalances - if these are what you’re dealing with - it can help you to get your head above water.

And allll throughout this - what are you making time to do, regularly? That’s right. BREATHE. Those deep breathing exercises cannot be overdone!

I was lucky that I got an appointment with a GP who had experience with Burnout. I’ve worked with clients who have not been lucky with their appointments and have had their experiences dismissed. It SUCKS if this happens, because when you’re Burned Out this can really send you into a spiral, which is why I’m encouraging you to BREATHE. Write the list. Take it slow. If you’re not getting the help you need, try a different route. Come chat with me - and we’ll help you come up with a plan. Just keep breathing. You’re going to be okay.

And then, the Burnout Recovery journey begins. Because being signed off work, or prescribed medication, that doesn’t just make your Burnout go away. It helps, it really does, but there’s deeper work required to fix it long term - which we’ll get to, I promise. What you need these immediate actions for is to get yourself out of the boiling pot. But doing these things, without also then following them up with actual change, just means you’re jumping straight back into the pot.

So to recap:

• Give yourself permission to STOP. Step back, take a break, remove yourself from the situation or environment that is causing you to Burn Out as much as you physically can.

• Take time to REST. And BREATHE. Use my breathing exercises via the mini podcast episode I linked above, or use whatever you know works for you.

• Get support. Reach out to friends, family - maybe even colleagues or a manager if you have that relationship. Let them know what’s going on with you.

• Get yourself to a doctor. Write out the list, the bullet point list of everything you’re feeling, everything you’re experiencing. Take it to a doctor and ask for help.

• And from there, take all the time you need. You’ve already started your Burnout Recovery journey by taking these steps. The road ahead might be long, but this part was the hardest bit. You are going to be okay.

So what’s next? Well, for starters, you check out the rest of the episodes of my podcast, Your Supernova Moment. Subscribe if you haven’t already! Every week I’ll be giving you something new to help you on your Burnout Journey.

You can also come and join my free ‘Stressed Out to Supernova’ Facebook Group.

And you can also get on my Mailing List. You’ll get some Planner Pages to try out, a recorded Meditation that’s designed to help you to step out of your stress and find a moment of peace - which is what you need when you’re Burning Out! And in the first couple of emails you receive from me you’ll also get a code to join your first Yin Yoga class with me for free - another thing that is exactly what you need in those early days of Burnout Recovery.

And if you want help right now - or just some support that is specific to your individual needs and circumstance, then you can book a FREE 30 minute call with me, whenever I have availability. We can talk about your situation and help you to get out of the boiling pot.

Mx